Will You Find Me Here?

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Will You Find Me Here?

It’s hard to put it into words
the inadequacy I feel
I’ve accomplished so little
with so much time
and being here makes it more real
If there is something I’m good at
it’s saying “no,” or not finishing things
It’s losing interest, assuming defeat
or sitting on my wings
It’s fear that consumes me now
it’s fear that consumed me then
And self-pity makes it easier somehow
I can call feeling sorry, my friend
But I’m not ready to be the problem
or accept blame for falling short
For not impressing family or friend
or for staying in my port
I’ve heard some say that accepting yourself
and what has come of yet
is the secret to living life peacefully
instead of with regret
Did I ever want?
What did I desire?
To step onto another’s path
and make their flame my fire?
To hop onto another’s back
while they walked through the mire?
I don’t deserve the things I have
the blessings He is giving
The comforts or the kind of love
that make a life, good living
But I would never argue this
the gratitude I owe
To the God Who brought me here
and helps me as I grow
And when I pray for just one thing
to feel I can be proud of
Something followed through to end
and had no single doubt of
I hope it counts as brand new seed
that sprouts within my heart
In soil that is watered well
from which efforts don’t part
Though maybe you will find me here
once again, in gloom
Where tears they fall from cheek to chin
as I watch others bloom

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.” – Psalm 138:8

When Crawl Became Climb

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When Crawl Became Climb

I thought it just me
weeping aloud
filling the room
with water and cloud

‘Til His voice, I felt
echoing mine
gave strength to my soul
and crawl became climb

-kb

 

“…but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings
like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” – Isaiah 40:31

Heaven

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Heaven

The horizon seemed to speak
to tell me that the line
I saw drawn at it’s edge
was only to remind

That as sea continues on
stretching from that spot
and places teem with life
that eye would claim, did not

So, life continues still
for those we can’t behold
and take our place, we will
among that bless-ed fold

Something meant for all
when turn to Him, we do
An all-inclusive call
not for a chosen few

He said that he did send
His Son not to condemn
but save through Him, He would
an estranged world of men

So call to Him at night
need Him in the dark
tell Him where you stand
with faint or solid heart

He hears each voice that sounds
the whisper and the scream
the shout that fills the air
the fright that fills our dreams

So, know that there is peace
and life beyond this shore
We take His hand, and with each step
renew our hope once more

-kb

 

“For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.” – John 3:17

At The Quieting of the Day

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Lately, I’ve been finding myself sitting at my computer in front of the window at just the right time of day to enjoy twilight.  Glowing patterns are created across the sky, and the sounds of the day lessen until I can hear the water fountain running, from across the street.  The muffled sound of a plane flying in the distance reminds me of how big the world is, and at the same time I notice how easily palm branches move in the wind…they don’t fight it.  Then, a single bird chirps, as if he is the last of his fleet to find out that the day is coming to a close.  Twilight is a gift, when the quieting of the day draws my attention not only to the wonderful things that have been made, but to the One Who so kindly made them.

“Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You
created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created.” – Revelation 4:11

If I Were Lost

For some reason, I was aware of the love and reality of God, early on…

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“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:38-39
“‘Am I a God who is only close at hand?’ says the Lord.  ‘No, I am far away at the same time.  Can anyone hide from me in a secret place?  Am I not everywhere in all the heavens and earth?’ says the Lord.” – Jeremiah 23:23-24
“The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.” – Psalm 121:8

From Seed to Stalk

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Seed to Stalk

I saw you shoot from soil to sky
So little I knew of the you still inside
That one day you’d flower
that your stalks would reach high
So little I knew of your special design

I saw you flourish, then one day you stopped
Your pieces changed color ’til some parts, they dropped
the earth below you seemed hard as a rock
Then suddenly life in a place it was not

I saw you move as soon as you knew
that you had a home, and quickly you grew
almost out of the pot you came home in, it’s true
And the more that you grew, the more beautiful you

It’s from God, is it not?  You, from seed to stalk?
The flowers that bloom, and the new life in spots?
The reason we grow almost out of our pots?
‘Cause we now know Home, with His life, has been bought.

– kb

“It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow.” – 1 Corinthians 3:7

Everyone Familiar

handshake-2056021__480“It was not only the people of His day, but it is so common for people of all times to just keep commandments and church laws and observe the externals of religion.  In living this way, we miss the point of what worship of God really is, falling each day more deeply in love with God, expressing that love by our sensitivity to the pain and hurt around us, and reaching out to help others, even strangers.  To a person who has found God, no person, ever again, is a stranger.  In that is the perfection of love, the kind of love that God is, a love that knows no strangers.” – Joseph F. Girzone, “A Portrait of Jesus”

“…I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger, and you welcomed me…” – Matthew 25:35

Not Hearing Goodbye

friends-581753__480I met *Sarah in a retail store.  She helped me shop for a ring.  She informed me that people are calling costume jewelry by another name now, “progressive jewelry.”  We both laughed a little.  Sarah was in her 60’s and had retired several years earlier so that she could travel.  She was back at work, but in a job that she liked, and she spoke of no regrets having used some of her savings to explore the world.  Sarah told me that her family was made up of diverse backgrounds.  She and her siblings were raised Muslim (although she did not identify herself as Muslim any longer), and she had relatives by marriage who were Jewish, as well as Catholic.  She said that family ties meant a lot to her.  She said that she celebrates Christmas.  Sarah’s life and family background were atypical, and she seemed to appreciate that.  I liked thinking of her family sitting together at holiday gatherings, differing beliefs and all.  I do believe that there is one true way for people to find close relationship and eternal life with God, through Jesus’ sacrifice, but it’s because of this that I can appreciate when people show love toward one another even and especially when their views differ.  It’s one way of truly loving our neighbors, which Jesus equated with loving God with our whole heart.  Before leaving, Sarah and I shared a hug.  I said goodbye and she responded by saying that she wasn’t going to say goodbye…that she had a feeling we would see each other again.  Not hearing goodbye from my new friend touched my heart.

” ‘Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?’  Jesus replied, ” ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment.  A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ” – Matthew 22:36-39
(*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.)

An Experience I Ponder

mist-2089580__480Sometimes my view of this world is a little bleak.  I look at what is happening around me and it can be difficult to make sense of it all.  And I don’t like seeing God’s creation suffer.  So my thoughts turn to what heaven will be like, and it chokes me up a bit.  Because I know that not only will it mean time in God’s presence, but “there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain” (Revelation 21:4).  There are many near-death accounts where people speak of having visited heaven.  I don’t know that I have experienced exactly that, but many years ago something happened to me that made me wonder if I had been given a glimpse of heaven.  I fainted in a college class.  When I woke up, my professor told me that I had hit my head and that my heart had stopped beating.  While unconscious I remember opening my eyes and seeing a man in a sash reaching his hand down toward me.  I grabbed it and we began to walk up a winding path.  I do not remember any words being spoken, but I do remember a feeling of being “filled up.”  I felt joyful and complete, as if I was lacking nothing.  I also remember thinking about the people I knew who were back here, and although I loved them, I knew things would be ok.  I did not feel a longing to go back.  The next thing I remember is opening my eyes and seeing the worried look on my professor’s face.  At the time, I was disappointed that I was back.  I cannot say for sure what I experienced that day, but I wonder sometimes if I was given a preview into what heaven might be like.  I am so grateful for the life that I have and that God has given me the opportunity to learn more about Him as time has passed.  At the time of the incident, I believed that God existed, but I didn’t give much more thought to it than that.  Whether or not that experience was a peek into what heaven is like, there is something in my heart now that can’t help but think that the “filled up” feeling I felt during those moments was an indication of what it will be like to be in God’s presence; there will be a sense of lacking nothing.

“The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.” – Psalm 23:1